Follow-up to WATERmeditation, Monday, February 9, 2026, 7:30 PM ET
“The Grace of Endings” with Rosemary B. Ganley
WATER thanks Rosemary Ganley for her creative and insightful meditation on “The Grace of Endings.” It was a powerful and moving experience as we were all invited to consider our own endings and prepare accordingly. The video of the session can be found at https://youtu.be/c4FwytBFA_Q. The session started with WATER’s usual land acknowledgement.
Mary E. Hunt Introduction to Rosemary B Ganley
I have introduced Rosemary B. Ganley enough times that my introductions could form a collection like she collects her essays. But for tonight, I simply want to rehearse the basics and add a single thought.
Our RBG, as I like to think of her, is a stalwart Canadian whose politics and theology area consistent and coherent. Her writing persuades those who are open with her careful arguments and her solid thinking. Rosemary is a teacher at heart, so her regular columns in the Peterborough Examiner are as educational as they are well written. She is a longtime Catholic feminist, a citizen of world via her deep insertions into the Jamaican and Tanzanian cultures. But she is a Canadian at heart and a hockey fan.
I will only add that if we could clone Rosemary and send her around the world, we could settle most of the problems that befall us.
Tonight she offers us a springboard for contemplation through brief remarks on “The Grace of Endings.” As an octogenarian, she has strong feelings (which I share) about world politics, and she has realistic and honest views about end-of-life issues (which I also share). She will explain meaningfully as always.
Welcome, Rosemary, and we are in your capable hands and heart.
Rosemary Ganley’s Input (taken from her notes, redacted by Mary E. Hunt with her approval)
Soon to be 89, Rosemary lives peacefully with the reality of death. While she would like to see the end of MAGA, she sees our personal end in death as inevitable. This is despite the fact that it takes courage to discuss death in a death-defying culture.
She has experienced many deaths. Her parents died. Her spouse John died thirteen years ago. The most painful death was that of her daughter who died at age 3 ½ of a sudden infection. That death bonded her with many women, especially in the global south, who have lost children. Women surrounded her with musical, scriptural, and other forms of comfort.
Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) is now legal in all of Canada and Rosemary has been present for several such deaths. With proper guardrails and medical assessors, she sees it as good social policy. Under discussion now is how to extend permission to include prior consent especially for people with dementia. It is a controversial matter, but it is Canadian law.
She explained her approach to planning for the end of life, citing the good feminist liturgy held for her husband John as an example of planning a Feminist Eucharist service with a joyful spirit. Women baked 6 kinds of bread to honor John’s internationalism. All partook of this abundance. Some wanted some of each bread! Rosemary wants this at her funeral as well.
Rosemary made a series of brief and important points, not necessarily in this order:
1. Entering into the project of planning for one’s death can be freeing. It is a way to take responsibility without leaving a burden for one’s heirs.
2. It takes courage to face the inevitable, but by later in life most people have experienced several deaths.
3. Her counsel is to let the community in from earliest stages (for example, in an expected death such as cancer). She described a volunteer party where friends wrote down what they could do to help the dying person and their family in very practical (make a meal, walk the dog) ways.
4. She described a gathering to “appreciate the person” at which participants can speak of their experiences with and appreciation for the person who is ill. This can replace (and/or help shape) the eulogy after death because it allows the dying person to be appreciated in person.
5. She suggests deciding on the type of burial one wants. Cremation or Aquamation are two options that are ecologically friendly. Consider getting a shroud for a green burial if that is possible in the local area.
6. Prepay the funeral. Again, this relieves the heirs. Hers costs $250 CAD a month for 3 years.
7. Have an urn picked out and a plot purchased. She believes in a location for burial for the sake of future generations and the community. She reports having had subsequent gatherings at John’s plot that are comforting.
8. Note: There is now insurance for travelers for once-in-a-lifetime coverage for “repatriation of remains” which is far cheaper than paying out of pocket to fly a body back home.
9. Plan a feminist liturgy. For John’s funeral as noted above, women friends baked baskets of bread from around the world (naan, pita, sourdough, ugali, rice, etc.). Everybody communed. Do not let a local parish decide for you how to celebrate. Take initiative as an adult Christian.
10. Ask presiders to officiate. Hers are to be a Roman Catholic Sister of St. Joseph and a United Church of Canada minister who have already been invited and accepted the invitation. Rosemary wants readings from Hebrew Scripture, the New Testament, and Rumi. She also wants Jamaican music and she wants her granddaughter to dance.
11. Make a will. Remember to avoid favoring one over another. Prevent future conflict by being equitable.
12. Put another person on as a signer for your bank account as such accounts are frozen on death.
13. If there are children in the family, consider including a children’s story in the service like Doris Stickney’s Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children https://chasingdragonfliesblog.com/2014/01/20/water-bugs-and-dragonflies/.
14. Decide and express under what conditions you want to be kept alive. The Canadian NGO “Dying with Dignity” has forms, https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/education-resources/advance-care-planning/ . Rosemary is a member of this group and is part of the group lobbying the government for “prior consent” for dementia patients as part of MAID, Medical Assistance in Dying.
15. Be sure to have a “Do Not Resuscitate” form signed by a doctor and make it obvious on the fridge for emergency personnel.
16. Show loved ones all this work in a file and how to access important documents, for example, one’s phone and computer passwords. See below for a check list that Jeanne Christensen provided.
17. Plan with a sense of humor! Rosemary is doing her planning. As Rumi states, “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder.” And then get on with living fully.
Comments from Participants
Rosemary’s intimate sharing was deeply and appreciatively received. A period of communal contemplation followed. Comments that emerged include:
1. A recent Washington Post article described post cards that people are sending out to be received by friends after their death https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2026/02/07/postcard-death-teacher-glickman/.
2. Aquamation was a new term to some people. Here is some information on it. Rosemary said that it is process wherein the body is immersed in water with chemicals and reduced to dust without burning. It is ecological and appeals to Rosemary imaginatively.
3. Some religious practices, for example Ignatian Spiritualty retreats, begin with a meditation on death as a regular part of their agenda. It is a way to get more comfortable with death.
4. Natural burial is not available everywhere but it is a good idea. Green cemeteries are up against the huge funeral industry. One can only do what one can do to make this last decision an ecological one.
5. Writing one’s own obituary is hard, but having help writing one is a good idea. Or, writing an obituary for a friend and vice versa is an idea. Rosemary advised not to be too hard on ourselves if we have trouble writing our own obits. Mention things you are proud of in your own life.
6. One person said that she and her brother had written their own obits and picked photos to accompany them. She also looked at her list of friends to be notified and gave thanks for the blessing they are.
Another person very realistically suggested we look through our phone contacts and delete those who are no longer alive to streamline the work for heirs who will notify friends of our passing.
One person supported writing one’s own obit because it helps to eliminate undue hagiography.
7. See below a list that Jeanne Christensen provided of suggested things that one can do before death to help survivors. We are trying to be practical and avoid saddling our heirs with work.
8. One person named how she is processing the end of her career and helping her 98-year-old mother as she comes to the end of her life.
9. One person said that some spiritualities that pussyfoot around death, rather than cut to the chase and invite everyone to engage in the practical kinds of issues we have dealt with here, are not very helpful. Another one talked about choosing hymns that would liven up her funeral.
10. A tough question is what issues to write down and what to leave for others to decide, giving up control as well as retaining some control in planning for an event that one won’t attend in person, as it were.
11. Rosemary described letting others into one’s illness and decline. As mentioned above, she described how friends accompanied John and her at the end of his life by offering to do practical things. There was also a blessing of John at which people said lovely things about him. She counsels letting people share in the process insofar as possible.
12. Another person talked about giving things away to people now rather than having someone do it for them later. A respondent talked about how giving can be fraught, wanting to remember not just relatives, but also institutions that have been nurturing. How to do so without offending family is hard.
13. Given that so many families are split by politics, it is important not to let our death documents hurt someone unnecessarily down the road even if we feel good about it now.
12. Bottom line—Rosemary urged us all to do what she did and then set aside these documents, that can always be changed, and enjoy full lives. It is a wonderful attitude and way of dealing creatively with death. Each case is different, but planning and then living out the best we can is great advice.
Thank you, Rosemary!
WATER thanks Rosemary Ganley whose “graceful ending” we hope will not be any time soon.
INFORMATION TO CONSIDER INCLUDING IN YOUR PERSONAL FILE
Advance Directive
Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)
Authorization for cremation and disposition contract (provided by mortuary)
Access (pass code) to phones, computers, I-Pad, etc.
Durable Power of Attorney, family members, primary physician, vision physician, dentist, other medical persons (e.g., surgeons, therapists, etc.)
Personal health information, including medical conditions
Insurance information
Family and friends to be notified (by name, email, phones and address if appropriate)
Ministry-related persons or organizations, particular colleagues, alumni associates where attended, board of directors where you are a member, parish or church
Persons to help plan funeral liturgy (include helpful details; e.g., celebrant, homilist, music suggestions, person welcoming (may also do eulogy)
Paid membership accounts, include auto pay accounts
Photos of items of value, include information known about the item, value if known and name of person (if known) to whom it should be given.
Will and where memorials should be given if not in will.
